Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry,

Please keep it cool in mid-July.

Bless the walls where termites dine,

While ants and roaches march in time.

Bless our yard where spiders pass

Fire ant castles in the grass.

Bless the garage, a home to please

Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.

Bless the love bugs, two by two,

The gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.

Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,

In Texas, Lord, you've put them all!

But this is home, and here we'll stay,

So thank you Lord, for INSECT SPRAY.

For those of you who have been in Texas in the summer for any length of time, you will be able to appreciate and relate to this. For those of you who have NOT been in Texas in the summer, realize how lucky you are!!!

It's so HOT in Texas, the birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.

It's so HOT in Texas, the potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

It's so HOT that the farmers are feeding the chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.

It's so DRY in Texas, the cows are giving evaporated milk.

It's so DRY in Texas, the trees are whistlin' for the dogs.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS
WHEN . . .

... you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

... you can say 110 degrees without fainting.

... you eat hot chili to cool your mouth off.

... you can make sun tea instantly.

...you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

... you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

... you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

... hotter water comes from the cold water tap.

... it's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out in the streets.

... you actually burn your hand opening the car door.

... no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.

... your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and lay on the pavement and cook to death"?

... you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.